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October 8, 2017

uNclear Proliferation


I have a Friend Who Shall Remain Nameless who has instructed me never to leave a message on his voicemail.  I'm supposed to send him an email or text, and to await a response. 

My voicemail gets converted to text and transmitted by email.  I guess his doesn't for some reason, and he finds it inconvenient to do the lengthy retrieval of voicemail.

I like talking to him, but since he doesn't always reply to email or text, I'm uncertain about what to do.  I just accidentally found a long text from him in response to an email sent earlier today.  My phone was in the other room being charged, so I didn't hear the ding (if I had the sound on at all).  How can I respect his wishes and those of many others?

AOL Instant Messenger just died a convenient death, but Hydra-like has already been replaced by many others.  Facebook messenger, Twitter, Instagram.

I have one friend who prefers Facebook.  He has an email account, but if you really want to communicate, use Facebook.

Another friend, He Of Voicemail Fame, Tweets often.  I'll be glad to stop getting notified.

Others are only heard from when LinkedIn is announcing a promotion.  I congratulate them, but I don't really feel the need to know.

It used to be face-to-face, phone, or Canada Post.  I knew when to use what for whom.  Now there are so many channels that it's hard to keep track.  So I'll make it simple: if you want a response, email me.

Here's my latest attempt at classification.  What do you think?

PremiseGoes with email?Like it?CheckedCom ment
Twitter
Announce ment
Full Tweet relayedI hate it - probably some Russian sent it.Never again!Tweet not, lest ye be Tweeted
Facebook
Notification that some event has happened, but must view in native app
Ambivalent - Russians againEvery third dayLike Death and Taxes. 21st century party line
Google+NopeRarelyWhat is it, anyway?
LinkedInI'm too oldSeldomDumping it soon
Facebook Messenger
Conver sation
A nuisanceSeldomI get an email saying I have a message - go figure!
Words with FriendsNoNopeSeldomWho can even see the itty-bitty icon?
EmailLove itEvery hourwcreedh@gmail.com
PhoneSomeday it will be goneOnce a dayI only answer about 1 in 3 calls - mostly robocalls
Instagram, Snapchat, Reddit, Tumbler, PinterestDunnoDon't know what they areNeverIs this where I post nude photos of myself?
Gus Reed

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